Feel Good Jokes

Why did the skeleton go to the Chinese restaurant?
To get some spare ribs

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
To get to the bottom

Why didn’t the shark eat the clown?
Because he tasted funny

What do you call a man with one foot in the door?
Just in

What do you call a fish with no eye?
Fsh

Why do cars smell?
Because they are full of gas

What lets you walk through walls?
A door

What do you call a pig that does Karate?
A pork chop

Why do French people eat snails?
Because they don’t like fast food

What do you do when you get eaten by a monster?
Run around until you’re all pooped out

What do call a man who doesn’t sink?
Bob

Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the dance?
He had no body to go with

David’s father has 3 sons, Snap Crackle and ………?
No David

Where do you find a no legged dog?
Right where you left him

What do you call a 3 legged donkey?
Wonkey

What do you call a fairy who doesn’t like baths?
Stinkerbell

Why is 6 scared of 7?
Because 789

What do you call a woman with a pint of beer on her head playing snooker?
Beatrix Potter

Why did Tigger have his head down the toilet?
He was looking for pooh

What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea

What do you call a bear with no teeth?
Gummy bear

What kind of cake do mice like?
Cheese cake

Why didn’t the clam share its pearls?
Because it was shellfish

What animal drops from the sky?
A rain deer

What did one volcano say to other?
I lava you
How do you know if there is an elephant in your bed?
Because he has ‘E’ on his pyjamas

What do you do if you see a spaceman?
Park in it man

 

What did the rug say to the carpet?

I’ve got you covered

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